I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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