i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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