I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
