She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
