i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
