are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
