you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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