Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
