Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
