so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
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Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
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I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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