Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
