I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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