Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
