we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
