just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
