talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
this hospital has no fireball
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize