why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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