what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
