Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
