I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
