the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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