I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
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I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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