i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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