your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
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