Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
