if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
