I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
