party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
