At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Panties = found
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