were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
