Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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