toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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