Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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