dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
