The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
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