Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
