she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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