dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize