i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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