My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
