Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe isn't a time...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.