So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say