There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
