My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
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I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
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You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.