okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.