I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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