hell yes lets make some ravioli
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
