i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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