I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
