You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
