I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
