I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
