operation have a gay friend backfired
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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