there was a trapeze. enough said
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
