would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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