made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
a search helicopter?!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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