Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
