I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
