Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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