Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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