she woke up with a sticky ear
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
