your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
