Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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