That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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