She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
