You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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