he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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