Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
