I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
