Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
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