She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
