Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
