so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
