I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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