im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am mentally ready for anal.
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