I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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