the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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