drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize
