Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
