I'm gonna have a badass scar
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
